


The first Goodbye

by MINDinINK



Series: Raising Hawkeye [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Clint Barton Has Issues, Coulson POV, Deaf Clint Barton, Father-Son Relationship, First Times, Hawkeye - Freeform, Hurt/Comfort, Mild panic, Missions, Negotiations, Other, Phil Coulson Has the Patience of a Saint, Phil Coulson as a substitute dad, SHIELD, Separation Anxiety, Talking, Teenagers, agent coulson - Freeform, being a parent is hard, family life, kind of, raising an Avenger, teenager!Clint Barton, they are still learning about each other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26080990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MINDinINK/pseuds/MINDinINK
Summary: It's been four months since Phil Coulson took in Clint Barton, deciding to rather raise him at home than at SHIELD HQ. He's been off field duty ever since.  Until now. He has to leave. Clint isn't happy at all.
Relationships: Clint Barton/Phil Coulson
Series: Raising Hawkeye [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1872529
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	The first Goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Second work for the Raising Hawkeye series. Background story The Safety Of The Unusual Nornal is also up for those who are interested.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Clint stared at him across the dinner table wide eyed. It was exactly the reaction he had been concerned about. It wasn’t like he wanted to leave, but he understood he was needed and it had been already longer than expected, since he had been called to field duty for more than a few hours.

Coulson placed his knife and fork down slowly, making eye contact with the teenager across from him. As tough as he acted around anybody at SHIELD usually, Phil had learned to read in his eyes. They were always showing how he really felt, no matter what he said or what mask he was putting up. He kept his voice calm, hoping to find the words to take the panic from the boy.

"I'm needed to lead a team on a mission. I can't tell how long it will take, the plan is to not have it last more than a couple of days. A week tops"

Clint's face froze and he fell back against the chair's backrest, looking down at his plate, playing with the fork next to it. He looked lost at that moment and Coulson mentally sighed, knowing there was no way around this. 

„When?“

Clint didn‘t look up when asking. He usually had the habit of stubborn eye contact, could hold it through anger and fear, but that moment he kept his eyes cast down. It told the agent more of how hard it hit the teenager, than anything else could have.

„Thursday morning, we are flying out at 0600“

That made him look up again.

„That‘s in three days, what the fuck? How about some more warning?“ 

Yeah, from hurt to pissed, that was what he was used to from him. He tended to cover up uncertainty with defensive behavior. It was one of the first things Coulson had learned about him. It helped with staying calm, instead of calling him out on his cursing, which was still an excessively big part of his vocabulary. 

„I was informed about it this morning. If I had known sooner, I would have told you. I understand that it‘s not ideal, but after all that‘s my job and this mission is important. It will happen again, I can‘t always stay around“

Something in him changed. After a deep breath, he sat up straight again, eyes locking with Coulson‘s.

„I can go with you“

The agent‘s reaction was immediate.

„No. You are not an agent. This is a serious mission and I can‘t..“

„Pff.. I already shoot better than most of your agents . You know it. I can help“

He shook his head, folded his hands and took a stricter tone to make him understand they weren‘t on negotiation grounds.

„No, Clint. You will not go with me. You are a teenager and you are staying at HQ. You know the rule. There won‘t be missions for you before you turn eighteen and that rule still stands. There is no space for negotiation“

Clint gave a huff, raised his chin in a stubborn gesture. 

„Pff. Because it‘s too dangerous? I can take out anybody before they could even..“

„I said NO“ 

It had reached the point when he was raising his voice, although he knew it never had a positive effect on the boy. This time was no difference. He flinched and pressed himself backwards against the chair more. Coulson immediately regretted his action, but it was important, that Clint understood he didn't have the option to join him on a mission yet. He took a deep breath, lowering his voice again. 

"Clint, I'm serious. I know you can shoot and better than a lot of agents, but you are barely a teenager, I can't take you out with me. This is a mission, not training. I'm not risking your life. You are staying. There's no room for debating"

The boy's shoulders fell, the air leaving him and instead of that stubborn attitude disappointment settled in his eyes. It hit even deeper. He had known the day would come, but he hadn't expected it to be such an issue. 

"It's a couple of days, your routines won't change. If I can, I message you daily to keep you updated"

"Can I stay home?"

"No, I don't want you here alone for a week. You'll stay at your HQ quarters. An agent takes you to school and picks you up after. If you need something, there are people around"

"Can Maria take me to school?"

That question surprised him. While Maria Hill and Clint got along with each other quite well, he had never indicated actually wanting her around.

"No, I'm sorry Clint. She'll be on mission with me"

The fork he'd been playing with fell and his eyes shot up, the defiance and anger he always used to cover up his vulnerability starting to surface.

"Then who's gonna be my baby sitter? Who got the short stick and has to look after the kid? I swear if it's Brandon again, he can fuck off. I ain't gonna go in a car with that maniac again !"

Coulson raised a brow at him and took a deep breath, reminding himself of who he was talking to and where the behavior came from. Yelling wouldn't help. He was just so overwhelmed by the fact of being without him after months of working into routines and a stability, he had never known before, that he was panicking. So instead of correcting him on his language and the offense towards the junior agent, he softened his features and voice.

"What are you afraid of, Clint?"

That hit. The teenager frowned, his eyes darting back and forth trying to read the man's intentions on his face. Coulson took it as confirmation of his theory. He took a sip of his water, aiming to give Clint some time to think about his answer. An answer that didn't come. Instead Phil took the lead again.

"We'll settle at HQ on Wednesday evening. We can order pizza if you feel like it, or anything else. If you don't feel safe with Agent Brandon, that's noted. You can name any other agent you are comfortable with taking you to school and picking you up. You aren't grounded to your quarters, Clint. I can't leave you here by yourself. You are thirteen, that would be unreasonable and you know it. The goal is to be back by Sunday, your weekend plans don't have to get canceled either"

The boy let out a huff, his eyes moving down again, apparently very intensely studying the pattern of the table.

"Mitchell is fine" He said and it wasn't easy to say whether he was upset or sounded defeated. His voice had dropped and his shoulders slumped, fingers playing with the fork again. He looked so young that moment, it actually made him feel bad about leaving. Mitchell was a young junior agent, only in his second year of training, but the kind of character he wouldn't have expected Clint to choose. A silent, but serious young man, respecting all the rules to a T. The total opposite of the mouthy teenager Clint chose to be most times. His choice pleased him though, gave him some peace of mind 

"I'll have him assigned to you, to make sure he's free when you need him"

He nodded, put the fork down and took an exaggerated deep breath, before squaring his shoulders and looking up. 

"Can I be.. excused? I have homework to finish "

His voice didn't waver, but his whole body remained tensed, his jaws tightly bit together. He was running away and they both knew it. Unfortunately it wouldn't be of any benefit to keep him in the situation by force. So Coulson nodded.

"Of course, I'll clean the table. Let me know if you need help"

The teenager literally jumped up, almost knocking his plate off the table. He turned and headed for the stairs, stopping in the doorway of the kitchen. His back remained turned to his guardian as he only turned his head a bit to talk over his shoulder. 

"You'll come back?"

The question surprised him and he scolded himself for not realising the issue sooner. With both parents dead, no friends and a brother who had abandoned him for money, his separation anxiety was through the roof, had been already on the day they had first met. A paternal instinct inside him told him to walk to him and hug him, assure him that he wouldn't lose him because he went on a mission. Clint Barton didn't do hugging though. He flinched from every touch. Words had to be the only comfort until that changed.

"I'll always come back home, Clint"

It was foolish to promise and he knew that, but there was little else he could have said to comfort the teenager, who only nodded in return.

"Okay. I'll be ready on Wednesday after school. Good night… Phil"

With that he walked out of sight, leaving Coulson to look after him until the creaking of the second last stair snapped him out of his surprise. That hadn't gone well, not at all and he suddenly dreaded the moment he would have to leave on Thursday morning.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you very much for reading, any feedback is greatly appreciated <3


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